Your biggest enemy is yourself

For us to be successful we need to understand the world. But more importantly, we need to understand ourselves. 

I always knew I had several people inside me. Three voices wage a violent tug of war in my head whenever I’m trying to make a decision. I see them as

1. The warrior: That aggressive go-getting guy who I rely on in hard times,

2. The coward: The weak guy that always gives me reasons why NOT to do things.

3. Good old me: That logical rational reasonable friendly guy who keeps the other two in check and makes decisions.

“Good old me” is the person who I see in the mirror most of the time, and the one that deals with the world in everyday affairs. Turns out I’m not far from Sigmund Freud’s “Structural Model” of the psyche.

Dr. Freud calls these three entities the Id, the ego, and the super ego. The Id is the unorganized part of the personality structure that contains a human’s basic instinctual drives (animalistic). It can be compared to a baby that needs instant gratification without caring about the rules or reality. It wants what it wants. And it wants it now.

The ego is the organized part of the personality structure that includes defensive, perceptual, intellectual-cognitive, and executive functions (reasonable). The ego seeks to please the Id in a realistic way that will give it long-term benefits. Freud succinctly states that the ego “attempts to mediate between Id and reality”. For example instead of just grabbing something you like from a person, the ego would resist that urge and buy it from a store instead. We can call ego: common sense, as well as self-esteem.

Finally, the super ego strives for perfection (role model). We can call it our conscience, and It forms the organized part of the personality structure. It criticizes and prohibits our drives, fantasies, feelings, and actions. “The Super-ego can be thought of as a type of conscience that punishes misbehavior with feelings of guilt”- Freud. So basically, the super ego can be considered the polar opposite of Id; as a sophisticated, evolved function of our personality, covering both the ego and Id as the latest evolutionary function of our brain.

“So when you have a tough decision to make and are being ripped apart by the voices in your head, make sure you can distinguish each one clearly.”

For us to be successful we need to understand the world. But more importantly, we need to understand ourselves. We may hear chaotic voices in our head when trying to make a decision. One second it’s “yes”, the next moment it’s “no”. Our gut may be giving us messages that we can’t even hear over all the noise. My point is that whether you’re starting up, or running your business, you need to make sure you clearly know what your brain is telling you. So how do you do that?

1. I usually sleep on it. Although the first instinct is usually the correct one, I like to let things roll around in my brain; allowing the Id, ego, and super ego to fight it out as I sleep. I usually wake up knowing what to do (direction).

2. Balance yourself. Don’t let the voices confuse you, because then your doubts, frustrations, fears, expectations, hopes, dreams, desires, could win; leading you to the wrong decision. You may desperately want something, and it could be bad for you. On the other hand, you may want to make the “right” move but be too scared.

3. Be aware. Emotions and primal instincts are great to have (and follow), and all our emotions must be guided with logic. Be aware of exactly what is going on in your head, because an informed decision is a wise decision.

So when you have a tough decision to make and are being ripped apart by the voices in your head, make sure you can distinguish each one clearly: Otherwise you may let the wrong one make the decision for you. And have then become your own worst enemy.