When to hold back, when to attack? The timing involved in effective debate can be counterintuitive. Here’s how to gain the upper hand in 4 easy steps…so everyone wins.
It was Richard M. Nixon who once said, “Let us move from the era of confrontation to the era of negotiation.” What many don’t understand is that negotiation is never about one side being a winner and the other a loser. It is not a binary, 0-1 kind of game. On the contrary: it is about cooperation, not coercion.
Effective negotiators look at negotiation as a collaborative activity. The aim is to reach a common point at which both parties are winners. Having said that, people generally find this difficult to attain. Trust me—ego and fear can easily destroy any negotiation.
In order to achieve the most out of a negotiation, equip yourself, be ready, and just take it easy. Let’s focus on a few areas and find out how one can get the most out of negotiation.
CONTROL THE URGE TO CONSTANTLY TALK. LISTEN! AS MUCH AS YOU WANT TO TALK TO ACHIEVE YOUR GOALS, THE OTHER PARTY WANTS TO REPLY TO ACHIEVE THEIRS.
- Know what you want to leave the table with.
It’s self-explanatory. Before getting into any negotiation, you need to know what you aim to achieve and get—and, most importantly, why you want it. Build your arguments to reach that goal, and focus on the end result.
- Listen!
Control the urge to constantly talk. Listen! As much as you want to talk to achieve your goals, the other party wants to reply to achieve theirs. Indeed, listening could prove more powerful than talking in many situations. The more the other party says and reveals, the better your position in support of your arguments. Furthermore, don’t rush into pushing your ideas and arguments to force the other party to give in. Rather, work to find a resolution that satisfies both.
WANT TO LOSE YOUR CREDIBILITY? GO AHEAD AND BLUFF! BLUFFING CAN BE SPOTTED EASILY, AND IT IS NOT A GOOD APPROACH TO USE IN ANY NEGOTIATION.
- Don’t bluff.
Want to lose your credibility? Go ahead and bluff! Bluffing can be spotted easily, and it is not a good approach to use in any negotiation. Remember, your negotiation should be collaborative, not manipulative. Don’t throw statements around unless you really mean them and are willing to accept the consequences. Things like “That’s it, we’ve reached a dead end, and I can’t take this anymore” could put you in a losing position.
- Keep your focus on the pressure they feel.
We know that negotiation isn’t easy. However, try to focus on the pressure the other party feels when negotiating. Focusing on the pressure you face can escalate things in your mind. Thoughts like “What if I fail in this?” will turn into “I am going to get fired if I don’t close this deal.” Rather, focus upon how they are under pressure. Thoughts like “I wonder what would happen to them if they failed?” can bring you relief—and dramatically increase your confidence level.
